Nikki Allen (she/her)

Nikki Allen joined Momma on August 24, 2026 for a live Q&A via Twitch and YouTube to talk about Rebuilding Yourself After a Relationship Breaks Your Confidence

About Nikki

Nikki Allen is the author of Loved You, Hated You, a bold and emotionally charged novel inspired by real-life heartbreak. What began as a song, then evolved into a screenplay, became a gripping work of fiction that explores betrayal, identity loss, and the power of choosing yourself. Nikki writes with raw honesty and cinematic intensity, and today she’s here to talk about the creative process, emotional healing, and the truths that fiction can reveal. Her work centers around emotional abuse, trauma responses, and the way women rebuild themselves after relationships that break their confidence. She speaks from truth, and she's joining ETFA to have an honest conversation about why we fall apart, how we put ourselves back together, and why none of it makes us unlovable.

Socials / Links for Guest Connection

• Website - https://officialnikkiallen.com/

• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nikkiallentheone/

• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nikkiallentheone/

• LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nikki-allen-a503b828/

• TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@nikki_lov3?lang=en

• YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@nikkiallen1

References / Things Mentioned During the Stream

• Favorite Poem - Nothing Gold Can Stay by Robert Frost 

• Movie Recommendation - The Outsiders 

Episode Summary

Nikki Allen joins MommaFoxFire on Even Tacos Fall Apart to talk about rebuilding yourself after a relationship wrecks your confidence. Nikki is a singer, filmmaker and author of Loved You, Hated You, a story that started as a song, became a screenplay and finally landed on the page. It’s fiction pulled straight from her own life, and she tells it with no polish.

Nikki was barely twenty when she moved to LA, and she lost her mom within a year. She grabbed onto a guy who was wonderful at first, then controlling, then violent. She didn’t see it for what it was until a work friend got tired of hearing the same complaints every day and said so. When Nikki called her dad about it, he shrugged and told her that’s just what you guys do. That’s how normalizing abuse works, and Nikki breaks down how it creeps in before you know it’s happening.

MommaFoxFire shares her own story of getting out, and the two talk about why leaving takes so long and why it’s so hard to judge from the outside. For Nikki, the turning point came when she had to sit with an uncomfortable question: why was she longing for someone who treated her that badly? Her answer back then was grief and zero self-love. Her answer now goes much deeper, into childhood patterns she never questioned.

Nikki says self-love sounds cliche until you try to look in a mirror and say “I love you” and can’t get the words out. She started there, feeling ridiculous, and kept going until it stuck. Books, conferences and counseling helped, but she calls them Band-Aids until you dig into the foundation of who you are and what got poured into you. She calls that work soul surgery, and she’s blunt about how long it takes.

Healing doesn’t mean you’re done, and Nikki gets real about that. Years into a good relationship, her partner said “do it now” in a frantic moment and her whole body shut down. It took a day to work through. She still wakes up some mornings with her nervous system buzzing, and she talks herself down. She compares the practice to working out: you don’t lose the weight and quit the gym.

Nikki says the scariest thing in her life right now is that it’s going well. She’s used to fires and chaos, so peace feels suspicious, and she still catches herself waiting for the other shoe to drop. She and MommaFoxFire talk about building the muscle memory to stay put and enjoy the good stuff.

You’ll also hear about boundaries and why people only treat you the way you allow, how Nikki trained for the Olympics as a gymnast, why she misses songs that tell actual stories, and one mental health misconception she’d wipe out with a magic wand.

If you’ve ever felt like what you went through made you unlovable, this conversation says otherwise. Nikki and MommaFoxFire land on the same point: falling apart doesn’t make anyone unlovable, and you can put yourself back together.