Reverend Nick Scutari (he/him)

Reverend Nick Scutari joined Momma on October 12, 2020 for a live Q&A via Twitch and YouTube to talk about Religion & Mental Health

About Reverend Nick Scutari

Reverend Nick Scutari is the Pastor at First United Methodist Church New Ulm, in New Ulm MN. He's a father, husband, home baker, guitar player, bibliophile, lover of Star Trek, and coffee. He has had his fair share of struggles around mental health, and has muddled his way through grief, and depression over the past year. Several years ago, Nick's wife was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, so he is also the spouse of someone who comes with mental health daily. Reverend Nick sees part of his work as a pastor as advocating for those with mental health issues, and to trying to break the stigma around it.

Episode Summary

This conversation is perfect for anyone who's been told to 'just pray harder' about their depression, pastors burning out in silence, or people wondering if faith and therapy can actually coexist.

Key Takeaways

• Mental health advocacy is crucial in breaking stigma.

• Grief is a personal journey that requires support.

• Self-care is essential for mental well-being.

• Community support plays a vital role in healing.

• Faith can coexist with mental health treatment and medication.

• It's important to normalize discussions about mental illness, especially in faith communities.

• Being gentle with yourself is key during tough times.

Reverend Nick didn't set out to become the poster child for pastors who pop antidepressants, but life had other plans. This United Methodist pastor from Minnesota joined MommaFoxFire for a raw conversation about what happens when faith meets mental health reality.

Nick's journey into ministry started unconventionally. A summer camp kid who discovered God through games and guitar lessons, he initially studied music before his wife helped him recognize his calling. Now 34 and ordained for over a decade, he's learned that pastoral work can "consume your soul if you let it."

The conversation took a heavy turn when Nick shared about losing his best friend Clint to cancer at just 38 years old. They'd met in seminary, bonded over shared hotel rooms and missed flights, and Clint had become one of Nick's biggest supporters. His death last July sent Nick spiraling into grief that he knew he couldn't navigate alone.

"I knew enough to know I needed therapy," Nick said matter-of-factly. He found comfort in Dana Trent's book "Dessert First" and Nora McInerny's TED talk about how you don't move on from grief, you move forward with it. His wife gave him space to "wallow" while still offering support.

Then 2020 hit. As the world shut down and Nick was transitioning to a new church, depression crashed over him like a wave. His body felt heavy, his brain fogged, and getting out of bed became a monumental task. His wife, who lives with bipolar disorder, recognized the signs immediately. Nick's doctor diagnosed situational depression and prescribed medication.

"It's not a happy pill," Nick clarified. "It's a get out of bed and function pill."

This brings us to the heart of Nick's mission: dismantling the church's tendency to treat mental illness as a spiritual failing. He's tired of the "just pray harder" mentality that dismisses real medical needs. When someone tweeted that brain chemicals not working properly means "store bought is fine," Nick felt seen.

Nick takes a both-and approach rather than either-or. You can have Jesus and a therapist and medication. Science and Christianity are teammates rather than enemies. He's witnessed too much harm from churches that overspiritualze mental health struggles or sweep them under the rug entirely.

His advice for supporting someone through mental health struggles? "Be gentle with yourself, trust the process, find your people." Don't try to carry someone else's burden for them, walk alongside them instead.

As an Enneagram One (the perfectionist), Nick struggles with his inner critic. Self-care looks like using his CPAP machine, taking his medication, and accepting unproductive days without shame. His productivity doesn't define his worth - a lesson he's still learning.

The pandemic has made everything harder. Nick started his new pastorship virtually, getting to know parishioners through masks and Vulcan salutes instead of handshakes. But he's committed to being authentic about his struggles, even mentioning his depression from the pulpit.

When asked what misconception about mental illness he'd eliminate with a magic wand, Nick didn't hesitate: the idea that people with mental health conditions are somehow "less than" or fractional people.

Nick's story is all about showing up authentically in the middle of struggles. He's proof that you can be broken and holy at the same time, that faith and therapy make good companions, and that sometimes the most pastoral thing you can do is admit you need help too.

In a year when everyone's hitting rock bottom, Nick offers this: we can help each other back up. No magic required, just presence, honesty, and the courage to keep showing up.