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Sarah Peyton (she/her)

Sarah joined Momma on June 19, 2023 live on Twitch to talk about Self-Resonance and Non-Violent Communication

About Sarah

Sarah Peyton is an author, international constellations facilitator, Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication and neuroscience educator. She integrates constellations, brain science and the use of resonant language to heal trauma. She works with audiences internationally to create a compassionate understanding of the effects of relational trauma on the brain, and teaches people how words change and heal us. Sarah speaks about both the personal and the systemic forces that lead to traumatization, including racism, patriarchy, gender oppression, capitalism and colonialism. 

Sarah is a sought-after expert who brings neuroscience expertise to conversations about power, including how human brains respond to power differentials and microaggressions, the social trauma that can result, and how to use resonant healing to support people in restoring dignity and reclaiming their full power.

Sarah’s first book, "Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations and Exercises to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing", is focused on the way our automatic brain patterning is impacted by trauma and provides ways to transform our tendencies toward self-criticism into self-warmth through resonant language. Sarah's second book, "Your Resonant Self Workbook: From Self-sabotage to Self-care" deepens and augments the first book by introducing the neuroscience of unconscious contracts: those agreements we make as children to keep us safe, which often result in harmful adult behaviors like self-criticism, lack of trust or capacity for intimacy, or self-sabotage. The third installment in Sarah's resonance series, released in Winter 2021, is titled "Affirmations for Turbulent Times: Resonant Words to Soothe Body and Mind." Each book in the resonance series uses a different approach to help make brains a good place to live.

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References / Things Mentioned During the Stream

Episode Summary

In this enlightening episode of Even Tacos Fall Apart, Sarah Peyton, an expert in the fields of self-resonance and non-violent communication, joins MommaFoxFire for an insightful conversation. The episode dives deep into the power of language, self-compassion and its impact on personal growth and well-being.

The conversation begins with a discussion on self-resonance. Self-resonance involves engaging in a loving and kind dialogue with oneself, similar to the way we would interact with a close friend or loved one. Sarah explains that the brain is not as fixed as previously believed and can change throughout life. Instead of seeing the brain as a static entity by the age of three, researchers now understand its capacity for ongoing growth and development.

Sarah provides an excellent metaphor: the brain is like clay, and we have the power to shape it through our thoughts and self-dialogue. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the self-critique and harsh judgments that we often impose on ourselves, and how self-resonance can act as a soothing balm, providing understanding and self-compassion.

The discussion takes a fascinating turn as Sarah shares her insight into non-violent communication (NVC). Developed by Marshall Rosenberg, NVC encourages us to look beyond surface conflicts and judgments, focusing on the underlying feelings and needs of individuals. Sarah illustrates how adopting this approach can lead to better understanding and connection, not only with ourselves but also in our relationships with others.

The power of language becomes apparent throughout the conversation. Sarah highlights the significance of the words we choose when communicating with ourselves and others. She emphasizes that our brains respond to the language we use and that language can be an essential tool for change and growth.

Our dialogue touches on how individuals can identify and break free from unconscious contracts they've made with themselves. These contracts may involve an agreement not to be kind to oneself due to various reasons like integrity, care for others, or challenging past experiences. Recognizing and renegotiating these contracts can be transformative.

As the conversation progresses, we delve into real-world applications of these concepts. Sarah shares a powerful example of a healthcare company that has integrated self-resonance and relational neuroscience into their business communication. Employees use language that focuses on feelings and needs, fostering improved connections and a more supportive work environment.

The episode concludes with a discussion of a beautiful poem by Mary Oliver, "Wild Geese." Sarah reads a portion of the poem that encourages listeners to embrace their vulnerability and connect with the world around them. It's a poignant reminder that embracing our emotions and our softer, more vulnerable sides is an essential part of the human experience.

In summary, this episode with Sarah Peyton offers profound insights into the world of self-resonance, non-violent communication and the transformative power of language. It underscores the importance of nurturing self-compassion and fostering deeper connections with others. If you're seeking to strengthen your emotional intelligence and enhance your relationships, this episode is a must-listen. Sarah Peyton's wisdom and insights offer a roadmap to a more understanding, empathetic and fulfilling life.

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.