Tyler Coates (he/him)

Tyler joined Momma on June 8, 2020 for a live Q&A via Twitch and YouTube to talk about Anxiety Disorder & Treatment

About Tyler

Tyler grew up in New Zealand, traveled ages 20-22, then moved to Australia in 2016, lived in Sydney now living in Melbourne. He started out as a personal trainer at age 19, inspired by his own journey- he wanted to help others. There was this theme, (that he thought was alone), given the ‘perfect' training and nutrition program people still found ways to slip up and self sabotage their goals. This prompted the journey into understanding the mind, soon realising how reliant the outer game (behaviours) relies on the inner game (mindset). Until a few years ago Tyler used to experience anxiety DAILY, however, he never identified with ‘having anxiety’, he also though that playing out conversations in his head that hadn’t even happened yet was normal. So, he want to bring awareness to what anxiety is, not a bizarre psychological order, but a mere strategy we run in mind to satisfy a need for certainty and control. Part of Tyler’s work with people in shifting anxiety is knowing and accepting they are not ‘broken’ and don’t need ‘fixing’.

Socials / Links for Their Info

• Instagram: thecomposedmind

• Facebook: thecomposedmind

Episode Summary

In this episode of Even Tacos Fall Apart, we sat down with Tyler Coates of The Composed Mind, a mindset coach based in Melbourne, Australia who spent years struggling with anxiety before he even recognized what it was. His story will sound familiar: he wasn't spiraling in an obvious way. He was just playing out conversations on a loop, needing certainty before he could feel safe, and quietly running on stress he didn't have a name for.

Tyler breaks down what anxiety actually is... a strategy. The brain's attempt to manufacture certainty and control when things feel unpredictable. And once you understand that, the whole experience starts to look different.

We talked about the difference between feeling anxious and having an anxiety disorder, and why that distinction matters more than most people realize. We got into the physical symptoms (the racing heart, the sweaty palms, the full-body heat) and why Tyler compares them to a brutal workout without the endorphins. We also talked about the stuff that tends to fly under the radar: over-rehearsing conversations, avoiding social situations, sticking to the same restaurant order every single time because at least you know it's going to be good.

One of the most interesting threads in this conversation is the idea that anxiety lives almost entirely in the future. It's built on worst-case possibilities, not probabilities. Tyler makes the point that even someone who experiences anxiety constantly can't conjure genuine panic about being on Mars in two hours... because the brain won't buy what it can't conceptualize as real. That same principle, turned around, is actually the beginning of how anxiety gets treated.

We covered treatment options honestly and without pushing any single approach... medication, CBT, journaling, exercise, nutrition and the deeper belief-level work that Tyler specializes in, which involves identifying the core story someone is running underneath the anxiety. For Tyler, that story was "I'm not good enough." Once that belief dissolved, the anxiety stopped having anything to attach to.

We also talked about why anxiety is likely underreported in men, the role judgment plays in keeping people stuck, why having one person in your life you can say the quiet part out loud to is genuinely one of the most powerful things available to anyone, and how the stigma around mental health quietly costs people years they didn't have to lose.

This is a real, honest, funny conversation between two people who have both been in the thick of it. No fluff, no toxic positivity. Just a clearer picture of what anxiety is, where it comes from and what it looks like when it stops running your life.